Mad as a hatter

This is my favourite hat. It is number 3 in my vast collection of 3 hats, but I believe it marks the start of the exponential growth of my future hat collection. I only wear it on special occasions, around the apartment while driniking coffee, at lunch time and dinner time, trying on old or new clothes and shoes, checking myself out in the mirror, even when doing laundry. (In case someone’s wondering I still can see even though it doesn’t look like that, I haven’t yet hit anything).

I’ve been wanting this hat since high school (that’s a long time) and now that I finally have it, well, I wear it only on the mentioned special occasions. Not that I’ve ever been particularly shy about dressing up or wearing anything, I don’t care if someone stares, I’m used to it! But this hat makes me feel weird kind of awe and I keep thinking: when should I wear it, should I take it off in stores, should I wear it if it’s sunny or rainy, should I tip my hat as a hello to older people maybe…??? So when I finally pluck up the courage to wear it, I say IT’S NOW OR NEVER!, and then I get A 1000 Questions About Your Hat Quiz in my head.

Does anyone else have this problem or a solution or a rulebook for wearing hats? ‘Cause few days ago I saw this and got another burst of courage ‘cause that’s how you wear a hat, lady…

*Serbian